It’s been a week since my first major visual breakthrough occurred.  First, a clump of trees started to look like animals.  Two grizzly bears boxing with a rabbit and an ostrich.  To the left, a giant figure of a man, with an arrow through the top of his head like he was burned on the stake.  Over to the right, a man and a woman from the French Renaissance era – all decked out in ornate attire.  Below, the shrubs began to come to life, with a bright green color.  I saw the Green Man’s face, and other assortments of animals and people.

I noticed my vision actually got better when I took off my glasses.  The relaxation of my eyes allowed me to control the focus of my vision, causing me to see layers upon layers of matter.  I felt as if we all (we including me, and all the nature) were not in separate locations.  Typically we think, the tree is there and I am here.  It stayed that way, but added a layer of substance that we are sitting in.  Matter, energy, the earth’s atmosphere.  The air between us is not an intangible thing.  If there was no “stuff” between us there would just be nothing.  That doesn’t make sense. 

Sitting now on the balcony, looking at the same trees, I remove my glasses and blur my eyes to see elements of what I saw before.  What still remains on my mind are the clouds that came in on that early Saturday morning.  I watched the sunrise, without an ounce of anxiety or concern for time.  I had been up all day and night, and had no interest of going to sleep.  I finally saw the world in different colors, and I was going to embrace that experience to the best of my ability.

The clouds were the most beautiful I have ever seen.  Morning clouds are quite different than evening clouds.  The air was so fresh, sweeping past me at a record speed.  The air was warm, moist and clean, and the clouds were made of mist and mystery.  Pink, purple, greys and blues.  I quickly realized that with the power of my intention the clouds seemed to take on a life of their own (or mine). They swirled around and formed into different shapes – mostly angels, and deer. 

I feel okay about this, because I sense that things are okay.

I don’t feel okay about this, because I sense that things are not okay.

I can tell the difference, and have found over time that I am usually right.

I can control situations I enter myself into, by trusting my intuition to guide me in the right direction.

I refuse to engage my energy in situations outside of me that I perceive to not be okay.  By consciously deciding to guard myself from people, places or situations that raise red intuitive flags, I can no longer be affected by the outcome.

Intuition remains in us, regardless of whether we choose to acknowledge it.

In my foresight but just out of sight, I see the energy moving down by the shrubs.  It’s hard to explain, but it’s like seeing something in the corner of your eye move, but once you go to look at it, it’s gone.  The books I read describe fairies and angels, magic and wonder.  Stuff of children’s books, stuff of miracles, and stuff that doesn’t exist.  But it does!  I swear it does, and I believe it with all my heart.  I want to make miracles happen, and I want to show the world that, even I, just a girl, can be successful. Not just successful, but successful and kind, successful and open, successful and true.  Truth is what I seek. 

I seek to live in the truth at all times.  It’s hard sometimes, but it gets easier over time.  It’s like a muscle, and the more you exercise it, and practice it in real life, the more natural it becomes.

9th grade school project.  I received a B-  9th grade school project.  I received a B- 

9th grade school project.  I received a B- 

"Everything is Possible"
— Me

It was a dark and stormy night.  There was a full moon in the sky, when Ann shouted to her husband:  “Peter, it’s happening!”  It was 2:00am, and they both jumped out of bed.  They quickly got dressed, and outside, a taxi was magically waiting for them.  Ann and Peter jumped in the cab tugging on their 3 year old son, Peter Jr.  The taxi driver said in an eerie voice:  “I know where to go.”

The taxi driver drove the 15 miles all the way to the hospital.  Ann jumped out of the cab, and into the wheelchair that the nurse was holding.  The nurse took her into the warm hospital.  They were in the pre-delivery room when Ann quietly said to the nurse, “I’m having this baby.”  The nurse replied, “No you’re not.  You aren’t in the right stage yet.”  Ann said a little louder, “I’m having this baby.”  The nurse again replied, “When I said no, I mean no!”  Ann got fed up and shouted “I’M HAVING THIS BABY NOW whether YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!”

Ann was right.  Ten minutes later, out came Audrey.  She was a big baby—about 8 pounds, 2 ounces, but that was because she was 8 days late.  The date was September 18th, 1986.  It was 2:37am when Audrey entered the world. 

Audrey’s brother, Peter Jr., was 3 years older than her.  Audrey’s mom is from Minnesota and her dad was from California.  Audrey and her brother were both born in Los Angeles, CA. 

My first memory that I have occurred in South Carolina.  I was 2 years old visiting my daddy while he was working there temporarily.  He worked there for 8 months, and I visited him for 2.  I was on my way to the airport going home, and I was sitting on his lap.  I was eating a bowl of Cheerios with no milk in it.  I remember that the bowl was my favorite one, and I still have it today.  It had a little clown on the bottom.  I barfed all over my dad and my brother.  Oh yeah, I forgot to add that I barfed all over my blanket- the most precious thing at the time.  I was so obsessed with it that my mom had to wash it in the airport bathroom!

I vaguely remember my first home.  It was a two-storied house on a long windy road.  I was born in that house.  The only things I remember about that house were that I had blue carpeting in my room and my brother’s room, and that I had a swingset and a playhouse with a pool in the backyard.  When I was 4, I moved to a bigger house on a quieter street.  The fun about that house was that my friend lived up the street from me, so I could walk to her house every day.  Also, my other friend lived down the street from me.  I loved that house, but the scary thing was that the earthquake occurred while I was living in that house.  What was scary about it was that I lived on the top of a hill, and we thought we would slide down the hill, but luckily we didn’t.  Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be sitting over a computer typing this.

I remember everything about that house, since I just moved from there 7 months ago.  I moved in November of 1997 when I was 11, and we moved to a smaller house on a busier street.  Out of the 3 houses, I liked the second one the best.

 I have only gone to one school all my life, so you could say that it’s my favorite school.  My first memory there was scary at the time, but when I look back I laugh.  I thought that my preschool teacher was the scariest person I’ve ever met.  Okay, here’s my memory:  I had just done some arts and crafts, using all sorts of paints.  Of course, I got the paints all over my shirt and hands.  When I went to wash up, I pushed the soap dispenser and it broke!  What a day.  The scariest part was that the teacher yelled at me and made me clean it all up.

I distinctively remember starting to ride a two-wheeled bike.  I got so frustrated when my friend could do it around my backyard, and when I tried, I practically killed myself.  I started doing it really good, when I fell off the bike.  I got back on, and tried again.  This time, I flew down the steps to my pool.  I got back on.  I was furious this time.  I rode and rode and I was so excited, I forgot to turn the handlebars, and rode into the pool!

 I remember first getting on a horse.  I thought I was so cool, because I got to ride it all by myself, when the other people had to ride with an instructor.  Well, I sort of made a mistake, and I was supposed to tell the instructor that I had never rode a horse, but I said I had done it before.  She told me the basics, and I said to myself, “Gosh this is sinchy!”  Well, I started riding when the horse got out of control and started running.  What made this happen was that –seriously- the horse saw a llama.  The llama was doing its business in the petting zoo, and the horse got scared.

My favorite sports are swimming and soccer.  Learning to swim was easy, but scary.  I had the scariest swim teacher.  She was weird, and was kind of mean.  Soccer was easy to learn.  Kick the ball, kick the ball, kick the ball.  That’s what I learned when I went to Junior AYSO when I was 5.  But most of the time, I sat on the grass looking for roly polies. 

I went through torture learning how to ski.  I remember that my mom stuck me in this stupid kid’s camp for skiing.  The icky part was that they made me eat a sticky ham sandwich for lunch.  When I learned to snowboard, just a few weeks ago, it was so hard!  I kept falling on my butt, and when I got up, I fell back down.

When I started playing the flute, it was fun.  It was just long boring tones, but it was fun then.  I was in fourth grade, and my band teacher still teaches me today. 

 My friends can tell you how coocoo my dog is.  She is 13, and acts like she is 2.  She is always up in the hill digging and looking for food.  It’s so funny when she gets stuck up there.  But it’s not when I have to climb up there after her.  I live near Mulholland, where the hills are pretty big.  So it’s scary up there.  When my dog gets excited, she walks sideways.  She’s a brown and white English Springer Spaniel.

 My cat is so weird.  He plays fetch like a dog, and when he gets mad, he moos like a cow.  He’s a gray, brown, black and white short hair tabby cat.  I have probably had 30 goldfish.  I didn’t really care about those.  Their water was all brown and poopey.  Their names were all “Fishy.”

 The scariest pet I’ve ever had was my crawfish.  He died when I fed him dog food instead of cat food.  They eat cat food.  Well he didn’t die right away, he got sick, and barfed all over the container.  After a week of him sitting in his barfy container, he died.  Well, we’re not really sure when he died.  About 3 weeks later, I decided to clean his tank, because it was really smelling, and I noticed him dead.  

 My favorite piece of clothing is definitely my shirt that says “Girls Rule” on it.  It’s gray, and really comfortable.  I love that shirt.  My favorite song is “Getting’ Jiggy Wit’ It” by Will Smith.  I like that song, because I hear it a lot, and I have gotten really fond of it, and I think it’s a really fun song.

 I love the TV show “I Love Lucy,” because it’s so funny.  Lucy makes me laugh, and it’s clever the way they made so many episodes with something going wrong in every one.  Although I’ve seen every episode, I still laugh at them.

 My favorite movie is “The Adventures of Milo and Otis.”  The movie is about a dog and a cat, and they have these adventures, and it’s just the cutest movie I’ve ever seen.  It’s funny in some parts, and it makes me cry in some parts, so I basically get all emotions in the movie.

 I used to love to read, until I got a TV.  Now, it’s boring to read.  But my favorite books are a series called “Fear Street.”  They are really good but unrealistic. They are scary mysteries which I love. I hate science fiction books.

 Many things make me happy.  But I think real happiness lies right in Fantasyland in Disneyland.  I love all the rides there, especially the Dumbo ride!  I love the Dumbo ride!  But I also love Batman at Magic Mountain.  Those are my two favorite rides at a theme park.  I also get happy on Christmas, and my birthday.  Field trips make me hapy too.  Getting an A makes me happy.  But when I see my daddy after he gets back from work, that makes me really happy.  Getting presents makes me happy, and same with giving them.  Doggies and kitties make me happy. 

 I used to have a mental problem in second grade.  Well, not a serious mental problem, just that almost anything made me cry.  I was a real cry baby.  Same with third grade, but not anymore.  I only cry when someone is really mean to me, or when I get matching heart shaped scabs on my knee with my brother (true story).  I sometimes try really hard to make someone that is sad really happy, especially little people.  For instance, one time my little cousin was really mad at me, and went into a hitting spree and slapped me many times across the face.  I yelled at her, and she started crying.  I heard my mom come down the hall, so I really wanted to make her laugh.  I looked into her eye and said, “Don’t’ smile… I told you not to smile!” and she smiled of course and laughed.

 I had an okay-year last year.  The biggest thing that happened last year was the move.  It was really stressful and I got emotional when I got home from school one day and my room was empty.  I have adjusted to the new environment of our new house.  I went on a few road trips to Newport beach.  My uncle has a yacht that sailed to Newport the day before I got there with my mom, brother, and 5 year old cousin.  She’s the most annoying person I know.  But that one time, I tried to forget about it, and spend the most time I could with her, since she was leaving to move to Canada with her mother.  We also went to Sea World in San Diego with my mom, brother, cousin and uncle.  (My brother was really anonymous – when we are in public, he doesn’t know me, and I don’t know him.)

I think that I have difficulties in many things that need organization skills.  If you think my locker is messy, you should see my room.  I am very disorganized, and when I try to be organized, it lasts for only a few days.

 I sometimes have difficulty going to bed at night, if I have a lot of caffeine in the daytime.  I have difficulty in science and history, because they are boring subjects, and sometimes I don’t pay attention that much to the teacher.  I have difficulty on tests.  I think that my most difficult subject is math.  I am so bad at math, and it’s hard to concentrate when your classmates are being disrespectful.

I am good at playing the flute, and swimming.  I have greatly improved on soccer and softball.  Swimming and soccer are my favorite sports,  I’m good at rollerblading too.  I love to put my rollerblades on, and rollerblade with my dog on the street.  I am good at swimming, because I practice a lot in the pool.  I know I can be better at soccer than I am if I practice more.  Same with the flute.  I can do it, but I know I can do better.  That sometimes falls between schoolwork.

            If I could change one thing about me, it would be my organization ability.  One of the things that I would not want to change about me is my ability to swim.  If I could not swim, I would be really frustrated, because I feel like I am free in the pool.

 In 25 years from now, I could see myself doing a lot of things.  I have to be realistic, so I have to narrow the selection down.  If I wasn’t realistic, I would want to be an artist, a hairdresser, a cook, a fashion designer, a mother, a casting director, a professional swimmer and a makeover lady.  But that is unrealistic.  What I have come up with is that I wake up at 4:00am every morning and do my practice laps in the pool.  I will be a casting director, because they make a lot of money, and don’t have to be on the set all that long.  I would go to work at 6:00am.  My kids would ride the bus to school.  At noon, I would come back from work, and paint in an art studio.  I would pick up my kids from school at 3:15, take them home, and do some more laps in the pool at 4:00.  At 5:30, I’d cook them dinner, and go to bed at 10:00.

 I bet that when I grow up, I will probably not really be all of those things.  But that is what I’d really like to do.

 

Twin Flame Love

  1. Camera: iPhone 5
  2. Aperture: f/2.4
  3. Exposure: 1/16th
  4. Focal Length: 4mm